Hello and welcome and stuff to Nathan’s World Cup.

It’s not actually my world cup, of course. And I’m not actually going to South Africa or anything like that. But I am a budding sports reporter with nothing but time on his hands for the next six weeks and so I will be covering as much of World Cup 2010 as I possibly can.

As well as reports on every match and news updates throughout the day, I’ll also be live-blogging every single game that takes place during UK work hours. During the group stage this will mean two games every afternoon. I encourage all you poor working stiffs to follow my coverage in preference to your usual minute-by-minute providers for the following reasons:

1. I am not the BBC, and as such will not leave live-blogging in the hands of people with annoyingly abbreviated public school surnames like Steveo. Similarly I will not be padding out my own words with the ill-thought out posts from knuckledragging talksport listeners copy-pasted from 606.

2. I will, instead, pad out my own words with ill-thought out posts sent in by readers using the liveblog comment facility thingum, assuming I can get my head round Coveritlive, anyway. If I can’t I’m just going to make that shit up.

3. I am not in any way connected to Rupert Murdoch and you need not feel conflicted in liking my sports coverage, i.e. I Am Not The Times.

4. I didn’t spend the six weeks before the election leading with really partisan news pieces that left a nasty taste in the mouth whatever your politics, and which have sinced caused you to take a really good look at where you get your information from, i.e. I Am Not A Newspaper.

5. I am allowed to swear. Which is good because I really fucking like swearing when I’m writing, something you can probably trace back to Melody Maker’s Mr Agreeable.

6. I’m going to be watching the whole thing on telly. If David Pleat has just said something accidentally racist or Clive Tyldesley has somehow crowbarred a Champions League Final, 1999, Barcelona reference into Algeria vs USA, I’ll let you know. With swearing.

6. I’m quite funny.

7. I’m still nothing to do with Rupert Murdoch. That’s got to count for something.

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